Monthly Archives: March 2012

An inherent drive to thrive

Today I was outside playing with the kids in my house,when from no where one of the kids came calling, “Sammy, Sammy me too”. At that instance a thought struck me which put a smile on my face.

Kwame is about 18months old, and I was amazed at his ability to express himself in that manner. The truth is I shouldn’t really be but I watched this child grow. His growth was gradual, from crawling to walking, from learning to use his tongue to now mastering speech.

The occurence got me contemplating the human capabilities; our ability to do things beyond a point we reckon.

Probably sitting back every now and then to watch babies grow up, will be able to remind us of our capabilities; that we can become, be and have anything, that in us lies an inherent drive to thrive – and possibilities are endless.

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Bite one piece at a time

Always learn to break down your main goal into  bits. And take one step at a time.
The magic of breaking a major goal into several small pieces, is that it gives you the ability to do it well.
You are able to apply the right force and sense, you are able to make better decisions just by working on the smaller goals.
And it isn’t because the smaller goal is any different from the bigger goal.  You are still chewing the same meat, only that you are taking it a piece at a time. And before you realize that big piece of meat doesn’t seem overwhelming at all.

Association – Just change the familiar

Be in the right company, is not a new idea. Its a basic part of every culture. Because there are diverse kinds of persons in every environment, it becomes important one chooses which kind of people to associate with.

One thing this advice, didnt say though is that the energy levels of the people you associate with affects you. Anytime you with a person depending on your energy levels, you either make an impression on them or they make an impression on you.
Like electrons our orbits are always interacting, and energies exchanged until each orbit is balanced.
This is the more reason you need to associate with the right people. If you want to be smart associate with smart people, and you’ll end up picking up on their vibes. You’ll start reading what they read, drinking what they read, wearing what they wear. And the truth is all these things they do, is because of the way they think. In no time when you start doing what they do, you’ll start thinking like they do. And voila …

People around you are your biggest influence. The reason why their influence is so powerful, its because its subtle.
Its funny but as humans we are prone to doing the familiar.
The magic is you dont need to struggle with not doing the familiar. Just change the familiar.

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Deciding

If only we will learn to decide, we will accomplish a whole lot more in our lives.
Our inability to accomplish more its due to one major factor; indecision.

All you need to do is decide you are going to get that job done a day from now, and you’ll get it done.
Decide this is the path I am taking , and nothing will hold you back.
The truth is we are our own worse enemies, and when we are able to get rid of the noise in our head, that says do this – no do that. We will be able to strike the bull in the eye .- all we need to do is decide.

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Break The Ice Means “New Life”

Okay, there’s an analogy that we shall use to discuss an important topic:

“Break the ice”

This means to initiate an activity. It refers to the breaking of ice on the surface of a water body to gain access to the liquid underneath. Usually, after this is done, the rest of the ice will slowly but surely give way for the whole body of water to be open to access.

To follow on from that metaphor and apply it to the fear of frontiers in ones life, we see that our first step gates the vast ocean of possibilities that awaits us. It shows us how important that first step is.

When we have shaky legs, it is important to take that first step forward. It will be awkward, yes, but courage was never for those who were sure of themselves. The only reason it is courage is because you are afraid – without fear, there is no courage.

We are afraid because we are unsure of how to go about it – this is the source of the initial awkwardness. Even if people laugh at your awkwardness or hate your change, it doesn’t matter, you have begun a new life.

Just take that first step and the rest is just a walkthrough.

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Can natural be planned.

Can natural be planned?
Is it possible to elicit the right emotions from an actor on a film set. In movies a character is presumed to play his role well, if he can get out the right emotions required in that instance. But are these actors emotions, reaction, not overrated – and hasn’t it slowly influenced the way people actually react – its a tricky situation, that’s what I see.

So what is even real then, how do we separate real from what is perceived real these days.

What is real and what is natural anyway – Because our world keeps changing and everything with it seems to becoming more artificial. Even though we can go back to what natural is -the means through which nature conceives and comes to fruition – have we not lost what natural is?

Can we find one original seed which has not yet tasted fertilizer.

It seems to me like there’s a whole evolution on going and we are far from one beginning and at the start of another
What is natural today is determined by a greater programming, so is what is real.

To be continued

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Extend the Narrative

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Extending the narrative

Did you wake up fresh today, a new start, a blank slate with resources and opportunities… or is today yet another day of living out the narrative you’ve been engaged in for years?

For all of us, it’s the latter. We maintain our worldview, our biases, our grudges and our affections. We nurse our grudges and see the very same person (and situation) in the mirror today that we did yesterday. We may have a tiny break, a bit of freshness, but no, there’s no complete fresh start available to us.

Marketers have been using this persistence to their advantage forever. They sell us a car or a trip or a service that fits the story we tell ourselves. I don’t buy it because it’s the right thing for everyone, I buy it because it’s right for me, the us I invented, the I that’s part of the story I’ve been telling myself for a long time.

The socialite walks into the ski shop and buys a $3000 ski jacket she’ll wear once. Why? Not because she’ll stay warmer in it more than a different jacket, but because that’s what someone like her does. It’s part of her story. In fact, it’s easier for her to buy the jacket than it is to change her story.

If you went to bed as a loyal company man or an impatient entrepreneur or as the put-upon retiree or the lady who lunches, chances are you woke up that way as well. Which is certainly safe and easy and consistent and non-confusing. But is it helping?

We dismiss the mid-life crisis as an aberration to be avoided or ridiculed, as a dangerous blip in a consistent narrative. But what if we had them all the time? What if we took the resources and trust and momentum that helps us but decided to let the other stuff go?

It’s painful to even consider giving up the narrative we use to navigate our life. We vividly remember the last time we made an investment that didn’t match our self-story, or the last time we went to the ‘wrong’ restaurant or acted the ‘wrong’ way in a sales call. No, that’s too risky, especially now, in this economy.

So we play it safe and go back to our story.

The truth though, is that doing what you’ve been doing is going to get you what you’ve been getting. If the narrative is getting in the way, if the archetypes you’ve been modeling and the worldview you’ve been nursing no longer match the culture, the economy or your goals, something’s got to give.

When decisions roll around–from what to have for breakfast, to whether or not to make that investment to what TV show (or none) to watch on TV tonight, the question to ask is: Is this a reflex that’s part of my long-told story, or is this actually a good decision? When patterns in engagements with the people around you become well-worn and ineffective, are they persistent because they have to be, or because the story demands it?

 

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On Purpose

A good purpose can be striving to build something that stands before the sceptre of time without collapsing in self-degradation. Such an achievement allows one to pursue other projects in life – like a family, like educating others, like travel, like life. One should faithfully stay away from vain, short-term pursuits.

Build for the future so you can relax but remember that it is done one day at a time – remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare. When you are tired, sleep; when you are sick, rest; do not over-exert yourself. You build slowly, the matter is about advancing so that the struggle and the time away from the rest of your life is less – the long-term is accumulated short-term. In this case, it matters that you think – advice from inside yourself and outside yourself – for thinking quickens the hands.

In a nutshell, one must have long-term goals that drive and guide ones short-term goals. Each achieves something – the short gives you what you need to stay alive and achieve the long.

The ironic truth about sincerity

The ironic truth about sincerity

No one cares how much you care.

That salesperson who will surely die if he doesn’t close this sale, that painter who is sweating blood to get her idea on the canvas, that student who just pulled an all-nighter…

In fact, we’re hyper alert to the appearance of caring. We want to do business with people who appear to care, who appear to bring care and passion and dedication to their work. If the work expresses caring, if you consistently and professionally deliver on that expression, we’re sold.

The truth is that it’s what we perceive that matters, not what you bring to the table. If you care but your work doesn’t show it, you’ve failed. If you care so much that you’re unable to bring quality, efficiency and discernment to your work, we’ll walk away from it.

And the irony? The best, most reliable way to appear to care when it matters–is to care.

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The Mirror is a perfect liar

The mirror is a perfect liar – Why? Well findings are that the mirror can heal just by telling the brain a lie.
The idea is your brain is a command center which ultimately controls the whole body system, and it works based on the information you give it.

A true story – There was a man who was totally drunk at a party he organized. It was one of the happiest day of his life, but he had began to make a fool of himself. When he realized his behavior was going out of hands. He climbed upstairs to his room , and stood before  his dressing mirror and lied to himself.
“Listen Joe, everyone out there thinks you are drunk , but that’s a lie. You are perfectly fine. Look at you, your eyes are lit, your body is steady, you are well dressed. Now I want you to go out there and act like the perfect gentleman that you are.”
Joe went down stairs no more drunk.
There even more stunning instances where mirrors are used to heal chronic pain.

I will need some more time to sit behind my computer and bring you all those great examples. But the take away for me in these stories is ; Possibilities are endless, the truth can become a lie, and the lie the truth. It doesn’t really matter, your brain will only do what you ask it to.

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